so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
