Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Boobs are out for the taking
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
