I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
