Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
