They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
