Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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