please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
