If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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