Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it glows. i had to have it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
