She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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