you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
