thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dick very happy bro
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
