Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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