I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
