It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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