I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
