Umm I'm too high to move.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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