i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
