Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
