it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
