I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
