He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
