There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
