She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
