You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
