hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
