She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
