I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
