I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
