he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
