OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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