Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
