If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
