I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You're so nebulous sometimes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
