kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
