I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
