You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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