Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
