hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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