i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
