so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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