Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
