i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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