with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
