If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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