And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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