just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
