oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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