Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
