Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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